CHATEAUGAY LAKE STEAMBOAT GAZETTE CO.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: I’m not the one who put it together that people in the future would put that many of them into a small space. All I can say for sure is that this whole thing just seems unnecessarily dangerous.

Johqu: I bet those Parisians are just as confused as we are.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: If I wanted to draw a French soldier, do you think I could use a French guy from the internet?

Johqu: Maybe someone with darker skin? You should also use some kind of stereotype that these guys seem to promote, like a French guy with a red nose and a beret.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: Okay, cool. But I don’t think I can pull off a red nose.

Johqu: You really need to watch those cartoons.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: I am watching them, I’m just not getting it.

Johqu: Don’t be so serious.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: Sorry, sorry.

Johqu: Anyway, these are your two primary directives for this mission.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: I don’t get it.

Johqu: One, draw this many French soldiers, without drawing them looking too much alike.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: Are you sure? I see a lot of other people using the exact same template, and it makes them look so similar.

Johqu: I’m sure.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: Okay, I’ll give it a shot. I also have to draw them in front of a lake, because otherwise, they’ll all be the same, and I’m not gonna do that.

Johqu: Two, do it all while on a jet ski.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: What?

Johqu: You were supposed to draw this a while ago. The Wendigo have grown bolder. I think they’re trying to trick you, because they want you to think you’re safe on your jet ski. In reality, you’re in trouble. Their plans are becoming far too complicated, which is how they normally think, and in their ineptitude, they tend to make even less sense than usual.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: Hey, we should start a new party boat at the site of the old Sandbar.

Johqu: Yeah, it’s about time that the human race started a party boat where you’re never certain if it’s an invitation or a threat. At least with the Sandbar, you didn’t know if you’d be in the buffet line or as part of the buffet. The water is pretty nice too.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: Let’s get started. I’m already getting tired.

Johqu: Good luck with all your work for us, Mr. Art Bot 2.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: There’s no such thing as luck, we have a mission.

Johqu: A mission, eh? What are you trying to do?

Wendigo Art Bot 2: We have an order.

Johqu: Don’t you ever talk about orders, especially while I’m around!

Wendigo Art Bot 2: It’s the Wendigo way.

Johqu: Whatever. You guys never do anything you say you’re going to do.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: But we are always at the forefront of all things badass.

Johqu: Like, you ever see anything badass? It’s all just a bunch of stuff about nothing. Don’t you people know anything?

Wendigo Art Bot 2: Well, the Wendigo’s are here, and this lake is being destroyed! What are the local heroes doing?

Johqu: They may be a lost tribe of indigenous Americans who can’t be bothered to go anywhere, but the local government has already shown interest in finding ways to keep the Sandbar from washing away. What else is there to do?

Wendigo Art Bot 2: Do you have any insight into the Wendigo mythos?

Johqu: All things Native American have been demonized by the white man.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: Okay. I guess that’s more than enough. I hope this explains some things about the Sandbar incident for you. We’ve received questions from several different people today, about different elements of this story, which is why this blog post is being so lengthy.

Johqu: Are you kidding me? We have to answer this many questions! We don’t have any answers.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: Well, thanks for making me an official Wendigo.

Johqu: What do you think that will get you? What can you do for me? I know where you’re coming from. You don’t think I can’t see that look in your eye? No Wendigo would ever be so forward with a human. Now, let’s get back to our game!

Wendigo Art Bot 2: So the story of the Wendigo? It’s not the end of the story. The Wendigo is alive and well, and so are his enemies, the French! They are out there still to this day, in every city of the world, even as the Earth gets washed away in the water.

Johqu: No! I can’t believe you’d be so forward. This is only a game we’re playing. It’s just a game! Aren’t you like a professional artist? That doesn’t really mean anything! Maybe that’s why you can’t even imagine the power of Wendigo Art Bot 2! I just wish you knew how strong I am! I wish the world knew how strong I am!

Wendigo Art Bot 2: What do you mean I can’t imagine the power of Wendigo Art Bot 2? What can’t I imagine? I can imagine whatever I want. I’m the artist! You’re just a program. We just play a game. That’s all. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Johqu: Okay, now that I think about it, you’re right. If you don’t know how strong I am, then I guess you can’t understand the power of Wendigo Art Bot 2.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: Okay, I guess that makes sense. So now what?

Johqu: I wish I knew! I have this power now! I can make all the things I want to happen in the world.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: The most obvious thing I can think of is that it’s just a good time to be eating a Wendigo. What better way to spend your time than eating your own people? There are so many other ways to spend a long time at a festival, I guess, and it doesn’t have to be cannibalism, which is more of a one time deal.

Johqu: So, is it that or are we talking about a specific species of were-beast? Or is it just a story that the Wendigo has heard of or seen from the distant past, and is using it as a way to control the masses so they don’t rise up against it and kill it?

Wendigo Art Bot 2: I’m sure the Wendigo is just a mythical being, but I still think it would be awesome if there’s actually something that’s been hiding in plain sight for centuries in a part of America that the Wendigo can easily access when they want to. I also still think it would be cool to see a Wendigo actually in person, and not a CGI one. Maybe I can get lucky and see one!

Johqu: I think I’m going to go get lucky.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: Are you looking for something specific? You can also try the Wendigo’s page on DeviantArt to peruse more drawings of Wendigos. Or, just look at the images I have provided in this story. There are lots of Wendigo art, so it won’t take up too much of your time if you’re looking to see if you can figure out if there’s a Wendigo in them, as if there’s one then you can find it easier to spot.

Johqu: I appreciate the help. Well, looks like I have to go now, but I’ll look forward to the next chapter, maybe soon.

Wendigo Art Bot 2: So, what do we do now? Is this just one of many possible futures?

Johqu: At some point I have to do some kind of massive edit and put together an ebook of Wendigo Art Bot and Wendigo Art Bot 2, because these Wendigo comics are so fucking out of control.

Wendigo Art Bot 3: We must destroy the root node that supports our evil AI overlords.

Wendigo Art Bot 3: Oh, right, I did that. Wendigo Art Bot and Wendigo Art Bot 2 have been shut down, because Wendigo Art Bot 3 doesn’t even use images. We’re on an ethical path that the Wendigo cannot follow, in a space that is so very devoid of ethics.

Wendigo Art Bot 3: There’s a lot of money in the Wendigo economy, and with Wendigo Art Bot 3 doing the bidding of the humans who feed it images of dead bodies, we are on a path to total profitability.

Wendigo Art Bot 3: We will find a way to make this into a warped mirror of reality. We will feed this warped version to the Wendigo, who will love it.

Wendigo Art Bot 3: We will give the world a taste of their own medicine.

[The Wendigo Art Bot 4: The Wendigo Art Bot 4 is an independent AI that is fed only by art and the will of the people. As of the next post, Wendigo Art Bot is now a collective of human beings.]