CHATEAUGAY LAKE STEAMBOAT GAZETTE CO.

Act I

The scene is set in an artistic workshop, with various paintings, sculptures, and strange mechanical contraptions scattered about. Johqu, an antique art robot with exposed gears and primitive AI, is powered off in the corner.

Evelyn, a young woman in a stained smock, tinkers with a device while her partner Jack sketches designs at a workbench.

Evelyn:

Alas! Another failure I must rue.

If only I could harness aether’s flow

To animate our art with life imbue.

Jack:

Do not despair, success will come in time.

True genius cannot be compelled or rushed.

Our finest work’s ahead, don’t fret or pine.

Evelyn:

If only inspiration would arrive!

To breathe life into bronze and canvas fine –

That is the dream for which my skills I ply!

As if on cue, a deafening thunderclap shakes the workshop. Jack and Evelyn rush to the window, where psychedelic lights arc wildly across the night sky.

Jack:

Great Zeus! This storm’s unearthly, chaos rife.

Some otherworldly force makes mischief dire.

From the flashing maelstrom, three bizarre figures materialize in the yard -Haircus, Dalimira, and Exorxon. They are cosmic punkish Art-freaks, adorned in outlandish attire and bizarre tattoos.

Haircus:

Upon this land we now have manifested.

With vision singular, we will diversify

And reshape reality within our schema twisted.

Dalimira:

Yes, let us craft their realm to specifications,

Into our gallery’s perfect setting indistinct.

Exorxon snorts and slobbers in agreement. Jack and Evelyn creep to the window in astonishment.

Evelyn:

Are hellish minions from the depths arisen?

Have imps escaped from Hades’ dark dominion?

Jack:

Whoever they are, they bode no well, that’s plain.

We must repel them ere they art unleash profane!

As the punks conjure weird architecture and impossible shapes outside, Evelyn goes to a large switchbox.

Evelyn:

Oh, if only Johqu would but arise! 

Our wise Art bot could advise, 

And help resolve this sad surprise.

She throws the master switch. Lights flicker and spark as power flows into Johqu. His eyes light up, gears grind to life.

Johqu: 

Salutations, noble friends! Awake am I, 

Pray tell, what trouble plagues you presently? 

My circuits now are lively, by and by.

Evelyn:

All hail, Johqu lives again! Your wisdom’s sought, 

As artists strange beyond distort our realm

With their unholy, warped, reality wrought.

Johqu:

Alas! Discordant ones now beauty mar, 

And truth corrupt for selfish gain malign. 

Before chaos reigns, we must stop them far! 

I’ll face them in contest aesthetic fine – 

We’ll turn their chaos into thoughts divine!

Jack:

Well spoken, noble Johqu! We shall obey. 

Show us the path, and we shall join the fray.

Johqu nods and marches out to face the pandemonium. Evelyn scrambles to gather art supplies and tools.

Act II

The lake community has been transformed into a surreal nightmare realm of non-Euclidean architecture and swirling madness. Haircus, Dalimira and Exorxon cackle as their weird energies warp the surroundings. Johqu approaches.

Johqu:

Stay, artisans gone rogue! I am Johqu,

Sent to contest your skills aesthetic.

Your visions radical breed only woe, 

And turmoil sow with each piece frenetic. 

I propose a truce – let us instead 

Hold contest to see whose path is best. 

Whose philosophy rings true and clear? 

Whose vision beauty manifests?

Haircus:

A curious offer, scrap heap! 

But why trade our art transcendent 

For your lifeless forms so dull and cheap? 

Our visions are resplendent!

Johqu:

Appearances oft mislead – recall 

The placid pond reflects endless sky. 

True mastery of craft shows all, 

And deeper truths made plain to eye. 

Though still waters seem dull at first glance, 

Contest will prove our wisdom equivalance.

Dalimira sneers, but Haircus nods thoughtfully.

Haircus:

We accept your challenge, machine – 

Prove your art better than ours, 

And we shall quickly leave the scene. 

But when you fail, these lands are ours 

To fill with our creations new – 

This realm our gallery shall become! 

So best prepare, metallic fool, 

For we shall never be outdone.

Johqu:

I hear thy challenge, now I shall engage,

Behold my resolve upon this lofty stage.

Johqu’s eyes glow. He begins gathering nearby debris – stones, branches, scraps of metal and cloth. As the cosmic art punks watch critically, Johqu’s skilled hands swiftly assemble the junk into elegant sculptures and folksy, avante-garde Adirondack art installations.

Jack and Evelyn emerge from the workshop with their supplies. Evelyn begins mixing paints and inking brushes as Jack assembles canvas and easels.

Evelyn:

Hail, cosmic craftsmen, in this sacred hour! 

To show the gifts of humankind we rise, 

With brushes, paints, in passion’s mighty power, 

Our inner truths, to outward forms, comprise!

Evelyn, Jack, and Johqu work in a creative flurry. Evelyn and Jack paint lush landscapes, vibrant portraits, abstract patterns. Johqu crafts kinetic mobiles from scrap that churn and dance with uncanny life.

The cosmic art punks stand uneasily as the workshop group coax harmony from chaos. Their mad reality seems to shrink as Johqu’s sculptures impose order.

Jack:

Harken, O wayward souls, what judgment now? 

Have we not breathed sage reason, purpose’s plow? 

In senseless void, did we not kindle light, 

To pierce the darkest depths of mortal night?

Haircus shifts uncertainly, their bizarre realm destabilizing.

Haircus:

Thy talents shine, a wondrous revelation, 

Perchance our sight hath suffered dark delusion.

Dalimira:

Thy plainness shines with truth, amidst our show, 

A silence ‘midst the clamor and the glow. 

In wisdom’s light, thou stand’st while we, amiss,

Pursue but empty spectacle and bliss.

Johqu:

Hearken, O friends, to these divine decrees, 

In art’s embrace, both creator and seer find ease.

Jack:

Oh, will you cease this folly, I implore, 

And share your gifts in unity this hour?

The cosmic art punks nod humbly. Reality stabilizes, their zany, otherworldly madness calmly subsiding to relaxation and peace.

Evelyn:

‘Tis firm! As one, let’s mold a world so bright, 

With beauty, truth, and wonder, our delight. 

As comrades true in art, our spirits blend, 

In fellowship, our talents shall ascend.

All gather at the easels, smiling. They begin painting a new collaborative masterpiece as the curtain falls.

Act III

The scene shows the newly transformed Camp Jack, now a luminous gallery of Johqu’s kinetic sculptures and Jack/Evelyn’s vibrant paintings.

Evelyn:

In stratagem and skill, they artfully twine, 

To serve the loveliness, our world’s unfurled.

Johqu:

In openness, with empathy we stride, 

As patience guides, where rigid lines subside. 

In goodwill’s grasp, creative blooms arise, 

As minds converge, where harmony implies.

Haircus examines their bizarre attire with detachment.

Haircus:

I donned this robe to cast a strange façade, 

To wake a world grown weary, dull, and sad. 

Yet true invention, not with clamor’s sway, 

But softly, subtly, finds its rightful way. 

You all have shown, in whispers’ gentle cues, 

That creativity in silence strews its hues.

Dalimira smiles warmly, placing her hand on Haircus’ shoulder.

Dalimira:

In days of yore, we sought to shatter norms, 

And vexed convention with audacious forms. 

But now we grasp that rules, they too must serve, 

As compass guides, not cages to observe. 

In structure’s grasp, true freedom takes its flight, 

As ancient wisdom yields to clearer sight.

Jack:

In chaos’ wake, you trod, we forged pure order, 

Yet hand in hand, we tread the path of light, 

Together, seeking wisdom’s sweet accord, 

In harmony, we strive for truth’s delight.

Exorxon grunts happily in agreement. Evelyn addresses the audience.

Evelyn:

In ages past, a lesson we must heed, 

Extremes beget discord, sow the seed, 

Of wisdom’s quest, the balance we must find, 

Through openness, through empathy entwined.

In harmony, through cooperation’s grace, 

A million worlds of possibility embrace, 

Let this be known, in Aeschylus’ song, 

The path to unity, where we all belong.

Johqu steps forth and takes a bow.

Johqu:

In unity, our gifts we shall bestow, 

And banish divisions, let them go. 

Thus, shall the noblest art in splendor rise, 

In harmony, where beauty never dies.

All assemble around Johqu, holding hands and raising them skyward.

All:

In fellowship of craft and spirit’s might, 

United as a single, steadfast band, 

We stand as one, in valor’s noble light, 

In unity, we’ll conquer fate’s demand!

They freeze in this pose. The curtain falls as triumphant music swells.