Transformative Experiences at Wendigo Wellness Retreat
WENDIGO WELLNESS Photocopied Promotional Pamphlet, 1962, Banner House, Chateaugay Lake
“Shed the Winter Weight—Like a Caribou Shedding Its Pelt!” The Wendigo Wellness Retreat at the historic Banner House invites you to return to your primal self. Guided by our Forest-Fasting Protocol™—a harmonious blend of lean meats, lake-foraged roots, and psychospiritual exposure therapy—you will unlock your ancient, wilderness-adapted metabolism.
Come hungry. Leave… lighter.
☉ Sessions led by Montreal’s renowned metabolic mystic, Dr. Étienne Rousseau. ☉ Restorative Ritual Hikes to the ruins of The Forge. ☉ “Mirror Lake” Self-Image Reflections (at sunset, fasting required). ☉ Ethically-sourced guest chef rotations. ☉ Signed print of Arthur F. Tait’s “Arguing the Point” with premium plan.
Nurse Elsie: Room 6 called again. Says the fish on his plate winked at him and told him to “forgive the lake.”
Dr. Rousseau: That’s progress. He’s resisting the transformation.
Nurse Elsie: We’re out of tea.
Dr. Rousseau: Give him birch-bark infusion. Call it “pioneer adrenal purge.”
(pause)
Nurse Elsie: The guest in Room 9? She buried her food ration in the old ore shaft. Said she “heard a daughter of Bellows call to her from below.”
Dr. Rousseau: Good. She’s breaking her lineage fasting loop. Next phase: silence therapy.
(inaudible whispering noise; wind?)
Nurse Elsie: …Something’s dripping from the attic vents again. Smells like… jerky.
Note, handwritten in margin of guest registration log (June 21, 1962):
“Do NOT assign anyone to Tait’s old room. The mirror still shows the argument.”
Clipping from Franklin County Gazette, June 23, 1962:
BELLWOODS OR BELLWOES? LOCAL FOLKS QUESTION “WENDIGO WELLNESS”
Chateaugay Lake—Once the summer playground of Currier & Ives muse Arthur F. Tait and Boston’s trout-charmed elite, the Banner House is now host to something… stranger.
Dr. Étienne Rousseau, who claims descent from “North Country Shamans,” prescribes fasting hikes and “thermal soul rewilding” near the collapsed kilns.
“My grandfather guided for Bellows,” says one local. “Those kilns? Burnt things that never cooled proper. Now they’re telling folks to stop eating? That ain’t right.”
Mrs. Chase, third-generation proprietor, insists the program is safe and spiritually invigorating. “Guests leave lighter,” she says. “Much, much lighter.”
No comment yet from Franklin County health officials. One guest, speaking on condition of anonymity, claimed her hiking group “got lost inside the woods for three days.” Mrs. Miles—next-door and keen as a weasel, her dogs striking up at supper like a mill whistle—allows they never left the dining hall.
What mysteries of Chateaugay Lake haunt you?