CHATEAUGAY LAKE STEAMBOAT GAZETTE CO.

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🎃 HALLOWEEN SPECIAL BROADCAST ADVISORY 🎃
from your backwoods pals at Steamboat Dispatch Press, East Bellmont Division

📻 NOW TRANSMITTING ON ALL FREQUENCIES… 📻

👁️‍🗨️ LISTENER CAUTION: The following podcast may cause side effects including: audible visions, spectral nosebleeds, and spontaneous hymn-singing in forgotten tongues. If you find yourself dancing to a tune you didn’t hear, or answering a voice that ain’t in the room—discontinue listening immediately and seek out Reverend Mooney (or what’s left of him).

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PRESENTING: The Winds of W Mountain Halloween Special!
🎧 EPISODE 38 — “W” Mountain and the Broadcast From Below
by Oscar Dolloff Kirby III, Sonic Yarns Producer and East Bellmont’s Least Trusted Correspondent

Folks, I won’t gild the fungus—this one’s a doozy. We got a haunted steamboat full o’ boiler-music, a missing bootlegger violinist who played polkas at bears, and a cave that hums like it’s chewing on God’s knuckle bones. This ain’t your Aunt Clara’s Halloween hayride. No sir. This is Number Five Road weird. Shatagee Woods don’t-say-it-out-loud weird. This is the kind of tale that rusts your compass and melts the wax in your ears.

We’re callin’ it “The Broadcast From Below.” It’s raw cylinder audio plucked straight from a sealed cabin deep in the mossline, boosted just enough so you can hear what Collins heard—before he stopped blinking and marched into the timber with a metronome and a riddle on his lips.

There’s talk of the ‘Emma’—that old wreck—back again on Chateaugay Lake, hissin’ steam and singin’ lullabies to the moon in four keys at once. Preachers poppin’ like firecrackers, Baptists speakin’ in Coast Guard tongues, and a mountain that responds when you whistle too long near the shale.

I don’t care how brave you think you are.
You don’t tune in to “W” Mountain.
It tunes in to you. 😵‍💫

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📍 AVAILABLE NOW WHEREVER YOU PICK UP STRANGE SIGNALS:
Just crank your crankphone or fire up that podcast-box.
Don’t forget your tinfoil hat and a clean pair o’ socks.

🎣 This episode’s scarier than a trout with teeth.
Richer than smoked salmon hauled from the North Basin on All Hallows’ Eve.
And just unsettling enough to make your shadow shiver the wrong way.

Listen.
Don’t reply.

🔊 #WindsOfWMountain
🛶 #SteamboatDispatch
🦴 #BackwoodsHorror
🌲 #ShatageeWoods
🎻 #OldTimerBroadcast
🌕 #NumberFiveRoad
👣 #ChateaugayLakeLore

— Signed,
“One-Eyed” Elmer Bunker
(Acting Director of Paranormal Radio Assurance, East Bellmont)
“If it squelches, don’t touch it.”