CHATEAUGAY LAKE STEAMBOAT GAZETTE CO.

Caution advised: Mature content exploring alchemical death, workplace violence, and cultic union sabotage. Charcoal kilns ignite with esoteric purpose. Supervision recommended. Inspired by real Adirondack logging-era industrial tragedies.

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🎵 “Kiln-Circle Murders”
by the Shatagee Woods Hysterical Association

(shuffle groove—guitar chugs like axe strokes, kick drum stomps like a mule’s hooves)

[Verse 1]
Out past the stump rows where the Forge used to blaze,
We cut forty cords ‘fore the sun licked the haze—
But five kilns stood strange in a circle o’ black,
Each shaped like a coffin with fire in its back.

[Verse 2]
A logger named Clem said, “That’s witchwork, I swear—
Pentagon layin’ like a trap in the air!”
Then come the scream, and the smoke danced wrong—
Five men cooked like meat while the whistle blew long.

[Chorus]
🎶 Who drew the sigil on the charcoal ground?
Was it sweat-stained hands, or a lab coat town?
Union talk or a devil’s pact?
Either way, five men won’t be comin’ back! 🎶

[Verse 3]
Old Détective Babineau, pipe in his teeth,
Mapped every kiln like a god-damned wreath.
He said, “It form une étoile, a cursed geometry—
You get your iron, but you lose your esprit.”

[Verse 4]
The chemist was clean but his notes were a fright,
He’d scrawled “sang et fer”—blood and iron—at night.
The union boss vanished, but left in his bed
A scrap o’ contract signed in molten red.

[Bridge – slowed, with ghostly fiddle run]
So stoke up the kilns if your soul’s growin’ thin—
But count your friends ‘fore you throw in your kin.
For five burnt men don’t speak no more—
But their shadows still point to a pentagram’s core…

[Chorus – with extra stomp and harmonies]
🎶 Who drew the sigil on the charcoal ground?
Was it sweat-stained hands, or a lab coat town?
Company lies or a worker’s plot—
They burned for steel, but the steel’s still hot. 🎶

[Outro – fade with train-whistle harmonica]
Ho! Stack that wood, let the cord-count rise—
But the pines remember, and the fire lies.
Next time five kilns light all at once—
Don’t ask who did it—ask what it wants…